What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
