I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
