I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
