Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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