I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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