I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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