Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
