I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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