Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dear god my vagina.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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