Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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