My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
