I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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