Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
