so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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