the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
