I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
