there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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