also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
