If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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