i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
