you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
