): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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