in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
