i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
