You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She's the barista slut.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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