Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
