It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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