just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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