The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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