I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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