I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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