So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
