the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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