I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
