I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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