Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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