Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
