Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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