I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
