Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
