I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
