Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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