i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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