idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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