And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
