I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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