I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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