omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
