looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
