I seem to have left my pride at pride
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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