I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
